


There'll Be Time To Just Cry

by anemic_cinema



Series: World's End Boyfriend [9]
Category: Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Kissing, M/M, Minor Character Death, Slight Hurt/Comfort, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-19
Updated: 2013-12-19
Packaged: 2018-01-05 03:43:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1089216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anemic_cinema/pseuds/anemic_cinema
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU: No queers after the zombie apocalypse? I don't think so.</p>
<p>Just as Daryl and Glenn are getting closer, the fish fry turns into a massacre.</p>
<p>CW: Andrea having suicidal thoughts. Use of a homophobic slur.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There'll Be Time To Just Cry

Lori and Andrea were in charge of cooking the fish that night. Andrea had volunteered to gut them when Lori wrinkled her nose at the proposition. She still wasn't used to survival cooking, and was still a little squeamish when it came to preparing the animals that were brought to her. The blonde was more than happy to show off her expertise to the other woman. Anything Andrea could do to make Lori happy, well, made her happy. She knew it was a little pathetic, considering Lori didn't care about her that much. But she still cleaned and gutted the fish, wishing Lori had stuck around to keep her company instead of going off to talk with Rick. It's not every day someones husband comes back from the dead, and Andrea understood that Lori would never see her as anything but a friend. But every time Andrea sank her knife into the fishes' yielding bellies, it was the perfect illustration of how she felt. After a while, Amy came to keep her company. That helped a little. 

As the sun was setting, they stoked the fire and began cooking. The fresh fish was a welcome change, and, in a rare moment, everyone seemed happy. Even Jim, though his smile seemed a little too tight and forced compared to the others, and his eyes were not smiling along with the rest of his face. One by one they received their servings of fish. When Glenn received his plate, he began to look around for Daryl. They hadn't had a chance to talk since they got back to camp, and he desperately wanted to see him. In the back of his mind, he hoped any meeting between the two of them would lead to more kisses, and if he was lucky, things beyond kisses. 

Normally, Glenn would not already be thinking of getting into bed, or in this case a sleeping bag, with another man so quickly. Under the circumstances though, taking it slow didn't seem like an option. He'd occasionally thought of how it would be to have sex with Daryl, on those days when he had to stand watch alone, or as a way to make himself less afraid to go to sleep. Would Daryl be rough, gentle? Would he treat him nice? What did he look like naked? What would his face look like when he'd make him come? The fact that he might just get an answer to those questions gave butterflies. 

He'd felt a little weird about it at first, considering that Daryl had insulted him so many times. When he'd mentioned it to Andrea, she'd just shook her head and told him he was dickmatized, therefore was willing to overlook Daryl's behavior. Glenn didn't mention it again after that. Now it was different. Daryl had apologized, and Glenn was willing to give him a chance to prove himself.

Scanning the camp, Glenn didn't see Daryl. Looking down towards the quarry, he spied a figure lighting a fire. Acquiring a second plate of fish, he raced down, his eagerness to be in the older man's presence overriding any sense of care or propriety. He didn't give a good goddamn what the others made of his behavior. 'If they have anything to say about it,' he thought to himself, 'they can kiss my Korean ass.'

Daryl was just about to stand and go invite Glenn to join him when the younger man stumbled down the rocky path towards him, almost spilling the food he held.

“Hey! I brought you dinner.” Glenn said, smiling brightly. His heart was racing from the exertion and the excitement.

“Oh, I was just 'bout to go ask you if you wanted to-” Daryl gestured at the ground by the fire. “Uh, join me.” 

“Great minds think alike.” Glenn handed a plate to Daryl and sat down. “Andrea did a bang up job on the fish. She's legit the best.”

Daryl nodded. He hadn't spoken to Andrea much, or anyone else in camp for that matter, since he'd joined them. Merle had provided a comfort zone to him. He'd figured as long as he had his brother, he didn't need to talk to anyone else in a friendly kind of way. But Merle wasn't there anymore, and now he had to talk and interact with everyone on his own. For a man who grew up hating people and the fact that they didn't care about him, it was as terrifying as the walking corpses that now owned the world.

“You an' her an' her sister, y'all are pretty close aintcha.” Daryl figured it was someplace to start the conversation. These people were the closest thing Glenn had to family at the moment, and he wanted to learn more about them. Getting in their good graces was going to be difficult, but for Glenn, he was willing to do just about anything.

“Yeah, I guess we are. Amy's way cool too. Can't play cards to save her life though. Andrea is awesome, she's like you in a lot of ways. Badass, but more of a Wonder Woman kind of badass.” Glenn admired Andrea like no one else. She was smart as hell, and if there was anyone he'd want on his team in this situation, it was her. “She's like the older lesbian sister I always wished I had.” Fuck. Again, his mouth had moved quicker than his brain. “Shit, I mean-”

“Wait, she's a lesbian?” Daryl looked confused. “She don't look like one.”

“What do you mean, 'she don't look like one?'” Glenn shook his head. Andrea was gonna kill him for outing her to Daryl. 

Daryl fumbled for words. “Well, I mean, I never known no lesbians, but aren't they 'sposed to be all manly and shit?” He remembered Merle referring to Andrea as a dyke when she'd turned down his advances when they'd first settled into camp, and he wondered if Merle had known she was gay. It was a cruel enough insult as it was, but it gained an extra fucked-up layer knowing Andrea was indeed a lesbian.

Glenn had to resist giving him an “Are you fucking kidding me?” look. 'Remember, he grew up in a fucked up family and doesn't know any better, so you're gonna have to teach him some shit.' He told himself. Normally, he wouldn't have the patience for this kind of basic fact teaching, but he was willing to make an exception in this case. Besides, Daryl looked kinda cute when he was confused. 

“Some are, some aren't. Andrea's kinda, I don't know, butchy-femme I guess?” Judging by the look on Daryl's face, he'd lost him already. “Not really masculine, but not totally feminine, somewhere in between?”

“Oh.” Daryl had never imagined that homosexuality had this much lingo attached to it.

“Just don't tell her I told you. I didn't mean to out her, it just slipped out.” He made a swooshing motion with his hands. “I'm pretty good at running my mouth, in case you hadn't noticed.” Glenn gave him a crooked smile and took another bite of fish. 

The other man picked at the flaky white flesh of his meal, eating in small bites to avoid the bones. “S'ok. I don't mind.”

As he ate he couldn't help staring at Glenn. It was just so nice to have him sit by him, and listen to him talk. To ease the silence, and his own nerves, the younger man was going on and on about camp gossip. Apparently Shane and Lori had been fucking around with each other. It was news to Daryl, but then again he'd never cared enough to pay attention to what either of them were doing with their free time. Glenn posited that it was a drama bomb waiting to go off now that Rick was back in the picture, and Daryl nodded. When Glenn mentioned that he'd heard from Andrea that Shane had beat the shit out of Ed earlier that day, Daryl couldn't help but clapping and letting out a whoop of approval. As far as he was concerned, Ed earned every single punch and then some. He only regretted that he hadn't been there to get a few hits in edgewise. 

“Jesus, I've been talking your damn ears off.” Glenn set his empty plate down. “You must be getting real sick of hearing my voice.”

Daryl looked down at his plate, a small smile dancing on his face. “Nah. You got interestin' things to say.”

“Sorry, I just feel weird 'cause I'm going on and on and you're sitting there all quiet.” Glenn wiped his hands on his pants. They were already filthy, so good manners be damned.

“Don't got a whole lot to say.” Daryl gave what Glenn now thought of as the Patented Dixon Shrug. 

“Well it's your turn to tell me something now. Um. How old are you and what's your favorite color?” Glenn was determined to find out everything he could about the older man, even if that meant playing twenty questions.

“I'm 38. Green's a nice color. If I had to pick one that would be my favorite I 'spose.” 

“I knew you were gonna say green. Since you're into nature and all that. And you're ten years older than me!” Glenn inched a little closer to him. 

“Wait, yer 28? You look like yer 18.” 

“It's the blessing and curse of being Asian.” Glenn took off his cap and put it aside. “You look pretty good for being 38.”

Daryl swallowed his last bit of fish. “Thanks?”

“So, I don't have watch duty tonight, do you?” Glenn looked really good in the low light of the fire, kinda sultry like. Daryl knew he was obviously staring, but he couldn't keep his eyes off of him. He couldn't find a single imperfection on the kid. When Daryl looked at himself in the mirror, he could rattle off all of what was wrong with his looks. The too-small eyes, the moles on his face, thin lips, etc. But Glenn...when he looked at Glenn it was like looking a one of them old paintings they had in museums, the kind with the fancy gold frames with flowers and shit. 

When he was a kid Daryl had stolen a book from the library that had pictures of paintings like that, and he'd pored over them for hours. There were paintings of dead rich people, some of them were pictures of hunting scenes, which Daryl really liked, with dogs leaping through woods and fields chasing after animals he couldn't find inside the pictures. None of the people in the paintings looked like Glenn, but he was pretty enough to have fit right in between the ladies with big curls and jewels around their necks and the men with crowns and furs. His skin was smooth and soft, his eyes were a shape Daryl had never seen before, and that mouth of his was so goddamn beautiful. And boy, he could use it too. Daryl could count the people he'd kissed on one hand, and still have fingers left over, but Glenn easily blew them out of the water.

“No, I ain't got watch.” Daryl picked at a thread on his pants. “I ain't got anywhere to be.”

“Cool.” Glenn moved his arm so it was positioned behind Daryl's back. It was his way of being smooth. He moved a little closer, and laid his head on the older man's shoulder. Tentatively, Daryl put his arm around Glenn. When the kid sighed and snuggled closer, his heart began to pound. Trying his best to quiet down the voice in his head that was screaming at him that he was being an idiot and that there was no way this perfect boy would want to be anywhere near him once he really got to know him, Daryl forced himself to relax. The fire was warm, so was Glenn, and sitting there with him was peaceful. It was the first time Daryl had felt any kind of peace since everything fell apart. 

The sky was inky dark now. They could hear the rest of the group in the distance, they sounded happy. Daryl could feel his ass going numb a little from sitting on the hard ground, but moving would mean letting go of Glenn. And there was no way in hell he was going to do that. 

“Wanna come by my tent later?” Glenn murmured, turning his head to give Daryl's shoulder a nuzzle.

Daryl's eyes widened at the invitation. It sounded like the kid was trying to seduce him, and he was on board for it. So much for taking it slow. That awful voice in his head was laughing at him now, telling him how sure, that was a great idea. 'Show the kid how fucking ugly your scarred up body is. He's gonna take one look at you and run, you moron.' the voice hissed at him. But Glenn's hand was running up and down his back slowly, and being touched by him felt so good. Maybe he wouldn't be disgusted when he saw him. Daryl hoped that he wouldn't. 

“Uh, that sounds nice. Sure.” He mentally high-fived himself for answering the question in way that sounded halfway normal. 

Glenn raised his head, and kissed his jaw. “We don't have to do anything, we can just sit and talk, or whatever.” Daryl leaned into him, holding him closer. “I just wanna have you next to me right now.” With those whispered words, Glenn kissed Daryl, his soft lips gently meeting Daryl's. When his tongue pressed against Daryl's lips, the older man acquiesced, opening his mouth and sliding his tongue against Glenn's. His heart just about stopped in his chest when Glenn moved onto his lap, his skinny legs straddling his. The only thing he could think of doing is wrapping his arms around the younger man, and holding him tight as they kissed. Daryl wondered exactly what he should do with his hands. Glenn's we're running through his hair, and it felt wonderful. Tentatively, the older man began to stroke Glenn's back. The younger man made a small satisfied noise at the touch, and moved to kiss Daryl's neck. His tongue darted out and licked the thin skin there. Daryl felt like he was falling apart just from the kisses, and wondered how the hell he was going to manage doing anything beyond making out with the kid when he felt so totally overwhelmed just from this. 

He felt Glenn smiled against his neck. “Mmm, it doesn't take much to get you going.” His voice sounded like a purr.

Daryl gave him a confused look, then realized that he was hard as hell, and it was pressing up against Glenn. Mortified, he scooted back so that the offending organ wouldn't be rubbing up against the younger man. 

“Aw Jesus, I'm sorry.” It was humiliating. Daryl felt like a goddamn middle schooler who couldn't control himself. 

“No, no don't worry. I'm, like, seriously flattered.” Glenn sat on the ground, crossing his legs. As much as he wanted to get back on Daryl's lap and grind up against him, it was not the time to do it. The last thing he wanted was for Daryl to be uncomfortable. 

“Yer just...really good at kissin'.” Thankfully, the embarrassment had wilted his hard on, but Daryl still had his hands in his lap, covering himself. 

“Thanks, you're pretty damn good too.” Glenn stroked the older man's knee. In that small moment, seeing Daryl so vulnerable, Glenn could feel himself start to fall for him hardcore, despite everything that had transpired between them.

Daryl was about to thank Glenn when the scream rang through the night. Without a second thought, he leaped up and rushed towards the camp, Glenn following him close behind.

*******

Everyone was numb, but the numbness was a relief after burying the dead and burning the walkers. Andrea moved like a ghost, her eyes looking past everyone and everything. She was keeping it together, but just barely. As she'd sat by Amy's body, she'd seriously considered putting a bullet in her own skull after taking care of her sister. What was the point of staying alive when she'd failed her little sister so miserably? Her sweet little sister, who still loved childish things even though she was an adult. Who loved mermaids. Who helped her sneak out of their parents house when Andrea was a teenager. Who laughed hard and loud at the stupidest things. Who had been the first person Andrea had come out to, and who had defended her tooth and nail when their parents had given her a hard time about being a lesbian, telling her that she just needed to find the right man, that it was just a phase, and all of that other bullshit. They'd always had each other's backs, and Andrea had let her down. The wails that ripped their way out of her throat could not begin to express her pain. She was alone. All the people she'd loved, family, friends, lovers, were all dead. It was useless to pretend otherwise. 

After she shot Amy, Dale and Glenn would not let her out of their sights. They'd both gained the morbid skill of recognizing when someone was considering ending it all, and the idea of losing Andrea after losing so many others was not something they were going to allow. Glenn tried the best he could to put aside his sadness and fear and show support to Andrea in some way. He talked to her and held her hands, but all she could do was sit at the table of the RV, staring blankly ahead. 

Andrea didn't say it, but she wished that she'd gotten bit too, that she could've slipped into the void alongside Amy. How comforting would that be, being a brainless walker, walking through the empty world without pain or feeling. But there was no time to mourn, so she took all of her thoughts and locked them in the back of her mind. The only thing she would allow herself to think of now was of moving as far away from this damned quarry as possible. Nowhere was safe, but anywhere was better than the place where she'd watched her sister die and become a monster.

As he watched everyone move around the camp barely holding back tears, Daryl wished he could feel something more. Most of the people who had died he'd never even talked to, and he couldn't even remember their names. He tried to feel sadness, or even regret, but instead he just felt tired. A kind of tired that was soul-deep, that seeped into your bones and made you want to just sit down and say “I'm done. You can take me now, because there's no point to anything anymore.” Glenn yelling at him for wanting to just burn all the bodies instead of burying the victims had rattled him. He didn't mean to be so callous. How can you allow yourself to be tender when that tenderness only makes it easy for you to hurt? Losing Merle had been bad enough, he didn't think he could tolerate mourning so many people. 

As the day wore on, decisions were made. They would go to the CDC. Rick was taking the lead. Shane looked pissed off because he wanted to go to Fort Benning. Daryl didn't care where they went to. At this point, he just wanted to escape the smell of gasoline and burning rotting flesh. As he dismantled the tents that belonged to himself and Merle, he hear someone approaching. Instinctively, he grabbed his crossbow, but it was just Glenn. The older man's heart ached in a way he didn't know it was capable of when he saw Glenn's face. He was so sad, so shaken by what he'd seen. He hadn't lost anyone that had been close to him, not like this. 

“Hey, d'you need any help?” He picked up a metal cup that had been lying by the remains of the fire and handed it to Daryl, not sure what else to do. 

Daryl took the cup and placed it in his rucksack. “Almost done here. You done with yer packing?”

Glenn nodded. “Yeah. Daryl?” Daryl looked at him. He didn't like seeing him so fragile. The kid was strong, but everyone has their limits.

“I'm sorry I yelled at you. I was just-I'm just...” Glenn looked at his shoes. He'd seen horrible things before now, but he'd managed to squash down the feelings that they'd brought so far. This was different. He'd lost a friend, someone who he opened up to, whom he'd laughed with. He wasn't prepared for that kind of loss. 

Daryl didn't know what to say, or if there was anything he could say to ease Glenn's pain. He reached out, and brought him into his arms. It was the only thing he could think of doing. The younger man rested his head on Daryl's shoulder, the physical contact helping. 

“You don't gotta apologize, kid.” Daryl murmured. He stroked Glenn's hair. “Yer ok.” He carefully kissed the other man's cheek, pressing his face against the younger man's face. He smelled like sweat and dirt.

Daryl hoped that he wouldn't be proven wrong. For the second time in 24 hours, his mind formed a prayer. 'Even if I can't survive this bullshit, let Glenn survive. Let him live and be happy again.' 

A few tears had slipped out of Glenn's eyes, so he blinked rapidly, trying to clear them. He didn't want to cry in front of Daryl. “Ok.” He composed himself, his fingers still clutching at Daryl's shirt. “I gotta help Dale with Jim. He's in a bad way.”

Daryl flinched. As far as he was concerned, they should just put the bit man down. Better to do it quick than to let him suffer. But he wasn't about to say so to Glenn. 

“We're gonna be moving out in about an hour.” Glenn pressed his forehead against Daryl's. “Be careful on that thing.” He nodded towards Merle's motorcycle. He let go of Daryl, his hand grasping the older man's hand briefly. If Glenn had a choice, he'd stay in Daryl's arms for as long as possible, but there would be time for that later. Hopefully, there would be a time for them to hold each other, and a time to just cry.

As he walked away, Daryl turned his attention to the motorcycle. Merle had taught him how to ride, and he'd always been jealous of his bike. It was a sweet machine, and riding on it gave Daryl a sense of freedom and joy nothing else could bring. But there was a slight problem. Merle had welded some stupid Nazi runes on it. They'd been a gift from one of his more unsavory acquaintances, some fool he'd met in jail. He'd explained to Daryl what they meant, victory or some such bullshit. 

Daryl remembered how people in public looked at it, how their eyes would fill with disgust or fear. He'd reacted with defiance to their reactions, out of filial loyalty, but a part of him had always felt uncomfortable with it. Daryl preferred moving through the world unnoticed. Glenn hadn't said anything about it, but he didn't want to risk ruining the one thing that might be good in his life right now over something that fucking stupid. Digging out a screwdriver from Merle's tool bag, and grabbing a rock, he placed the tool at the right angle and hammered the runes off. He managed not to fuck up the paint too badly, the only sign that there had been anything there were some scratches and weld marks from where they'd been placed. 

“Sorry Merle,” he said out loud, “If we meet again, you can have words with me about it then.” He kicked the metal objects aside, and began packing up his bike.

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from the song "Banshee Beat" by Animal Collective. If you want more back story about Andrea's crush on Lori, go to http://archiveofourown.org/works/1027581. I don't think that there is a set canon age for both Daryl and Glenn so I just sorta plugged in numbers that made sense.


End file.
